


Singer of the Heart

by AlwaysElisabethian



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Slow Burn, Soulmates, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-01-29 09:17:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12627819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysElisabethian/pseuds/AlwaysElisabethian
Summary: "A special kind of human, a Singer, is born to one out of every three vampires, and any vampire who is bestowed with one has a sealed fate." Damon had heard the story for years, had seen the power of the Singer's call first hand. He never wanted any part of it, until the day his own singer is born. But Elena is so much more. He could never know this human would change everything.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so thrilled to be posting this to AO3! I've been working on this for quite a while, which means that yes, I do have a ton of chapters finished and will be updating regularly - I count on updating every Friday!  
> Happy reading!

_ No one really knows how or when it all began, be it a witch's spell, a vampire's invention, or even destiny, all that matters is that it has become law. _

_ A special kind of human, a Singer, is born to one out of every three vampires, and any vampire who is bestowed with one has a sealed fate. _

_ The moment a vampire's singer enters the world, their undead heart will beat. _

_ They will find themselves compelled to their singer, filled with a passionate need to be with them, to protect them. _

_ The urge is impossible to resist, growing stronger as the singer ages, until the human reaches the age of their vampire when he or she was turned. _

_ It is then that the vampire is given a choice. _

_ They must turn their singer, or allow death to claim the human as the sun sets on that very day. _

_ In addition to this decision, the vampire must also turn another human. _

_ This is to prevent the extinction of the vampire race, as is stated by the law. _

 

I banged my shot glass down at the table, not giving two shits about breaking it. The girl next to me jumped up and down excitedly, squeaking something about winning. I really didn't care. What I did care about, though, was the way her breast were following her movements, jiggling up and down in front of me. Oh yeah, she was the flavor of tonight. This one was even legal!

I laughed at her happiness, as if I cared, making her believe I was actually a good guy. There really weren't enough bad girls in this world. Girls that didn't care about whether boys cared about them or not. I always needed to play the good guy, or compel them, to make them go out to the alley with me.

This one was no exception. But I had been working on her for an hour, and she seemed drunk enough for me to start taking her outside. Wonder if I was going to let this one live. Maybe. She seemed nice enough.

And sure enough, when I proposed we'd go outside, she followed me, giggling and holding onto my hand. I could feel her throbbing pulse in her thumb, as she rubbed it all over my hand, while whispering things she was able to do with her tongue. Oh well, it was going to be a fun night.

We reached the alley, her body now pressed to the side of mine, her lips forming a trail of sloppy kisses down my neck. I rolled my eyes, grabbing her chin harshly and made her focus on me.

“You are not going to make a sound.”

I let my face change and reveled in the way my fangs shot through my gums, making me look exactly like that predator I was. I harshly moved her face to the side, revealing her white neck, so ready for me to plunge into. The girl didn't say anything at all, exactly as I had compelled her to, but she did try to escape. God, did this never change? Honestly, if you've just been told to not make a sound and you find yourself unable to do so, you should just give up. There's obviously nothing you can do about it.

But these girls never learned. It was the same shit every single time. If she would just relax, it wouldn't hurt that bad! It might even be comfortable for her. I could make it very comfortable, actually. But no, she just had to fight me, trying to get me away from her, as if I was some sort of sickness. Oh well, her loss.

Holding her back easily, I dove into her neck, not caring at all if I was creating a mess. I probably wouldn't let her survive, and I needed to make it seem like an animal attack. I could dump her body off on my way back to that shitty little town I should be able to call home.

Honestly, I probably shouldn't go back there. My broody baby brother would probably be waiting for me, with his singer. And he'd probably talk to me about how irresponsible I am, and how I should try changing, because it won't be long until my destined singer will come. Sometimes I think he's delusional.

I've known my brother for around 267 years. Yeah, that's right, I'm pretty old. I don't look a day over 24, though. That could have something to do with the fact that I'm a vampire, and haven't aged a day since 1744, the year I was turned. I know, vampires are mythical creatures and all that, but see, that's where you're wrong. We're pretty real, and we're in all parts of the world. You probably know a couple of vampires without actually being aware of it. We're pretty good at hiding.

I think I got a little bit off track there. My point is, that I've known my brother for 267 years, and he still has some kind of idea that there's something good in me, and the day my singer is born, I'm going to turn around.

Yeah, not gonna happen.

I've told him time on time that there's no singer out there for me. I've roamed around this earth for 274 years, 24 as human and 250 as a vampire. During those 250 years, you would think that this apparently destined singer would've appeared. But she hasn't. And she won't. Because I'm a damned soul, and I enjoy my bachelor life way too much to be bored with a silly human. Of course I'd never protect one of theirs.

No, there's not singer out there for me. And should there ever come some one, I won't go to them. Of course I won't, do you think I'm stupid? The vampire race is supreme, and we're doing just fine. I'm doing just fine, living life the way I am now. I have fun, I drink myself into a stupor, have a lot of great sex, and I'm draining blondes dry almost every night. Oh yes, I love my life.

Why would I be bothered by a small human?

As I told you, I think my stupid baby brother is delusional.

I came back to my senses as I felt the girl's heart stop. Oh well, what a shame... Not really. She wasn't intelligent or something like that. And why should I even care? She's just some human. She's not worth crying about.

I made sure not one single drop was wasted, before taking her over my shoulder, speeding off the crime scene and going to the woods, where no humans rarely come. I dumped the body on the ground, letting the forest's animals have it, before speeding back to the bar, getting into my Camaro. I loved that thing more than I'll ever love some person. Not even my brother is as important as my baby is.

I got in my car, turning it on and making my way back to the city I call home. Mystic Falls.

Mystic Falls is a pretty fucked up town, to be honest with you. Somehow it seems to attract supernatural stuff like a magnet, causing the human citizens to be in danger almost all the time. Not that I care. I just wish I could return to that city, without people telling me just how much of a douche bag I am – because let's face it. It's true, and I know it. And I  _ love  _ it. It's just me. That's who I am, and I am  _ so  _ not changing. Not for my stupid brother, or for anyone else.

I parked my baby in the garage, making sure everything was locked, before making my way into the big boarding house. Our nephew was actually living there, but thankfully, he magically disappeared every time I got into town. It wasn't news that I'd killed a few of the men in our family during the time, and he probably didn't want to be another one. And this guy was actually doing a decent job at keeping away, making sure he was with his girlfriend or something like that.

“Damon...”

God, I missed him having a heartbeat. That's right, my baby brother had a heartbeat, for seventeen years. And I'm not talking about the seventeen years he spent as a human. No. As soon as his precious singer had been born, his heart had started beating. I'd had so much fun with that. He couldn't sneak up on me and the pumping noise from his chest was a great symbol for the love he felt for that stupid girl.

But his heart wasn't beating anymore, ever since he'd chosen to turn that girl he was so obsessed with. That meant he was able to sneak up on me. Just great, another disappointed look from him. And if I knew him good enough, his singer would be coming down the stairs in a few minutes. He never left her out of his sight, even though she had turned. She weren't in any kind of danger anymore, and those two should be living life, instead of just staying in doors and being broody. As I told you, I think there's something wrong with my brother.

“Stefan...” I said in the same voice, trying to get the tormented look in my face as well. Mission failed. I couldn't keep it, but let the smirk return to my lips, as I poured another glass and made my way away from the drinks.

“What are you doing here?” Stefan asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Just great. He didn't expect me to return to Mystic Falls. Good to know that your brother doesn't want you to be home.

Technically home wasn't Mystic Falls. Our real home, the place we'd both been brought up, was in a small town in Italy. By the time both of us had turned, we'd known that we couldn't stay in Italy. Our douche bag father had made himself a big reputation there, and everyone pretty much knew who the Salvatore brothers were. That's why we got on the first ship to America, and we were instantly attracted to Mystic Falls, as so many other supernatural creatures. And that had been home ever since.

I'd never care to admit it out loud, but that little town was more of a home to me, than Italy had been. Don't get me wrong, I go back to Italy all the time. The girls down there are just a bit more willing. But Mystic Falls had been my home for the past 248 years, and that probably wasn't going to change.

“Oh, are you that sad to see me home, little brother?” I said in a mocking voice, throwing the alcohol down my throat. I needed that alcohol if I was going to survive being here with my apparently totally judging little brother, and that blonde bitch that was his singer. I'd never really liked the girl. Sure, I'd banged her once or twice, which had earned me a hell of a fight with Stefan, but her squeaky voice and her bubbly attitude were way too much to me. My little brother seemed to like her, though. Stupid idiot.

“Not sad, just... No, you know what, that was pretty accurate. I am pretty sad to see you're home. Because that usually means trouble and a lot of covering up for me and Caroline to do,” Stefan said, stepping closer. I put my hand over my heart and pretended to be hurt.

“Auch. You're hurting my feelings, brother... Oh wait, that's right, I don't have any! Thank God for that. That wasn't nice, though!” I said, flopping down in one of the couches, reaching out after the book on the table.

“Stop pretending, Damon. You have feelings, both of us know that. You just deny it. But as soon as your singer turns up, I bet your emotions will be back in place,” Stefan said, sitting down in the couch opposite of me. I could hear Blondie's steps on the stairs, and groaned, knowing she would be down in a few seconds. Great, two people to torture me.

“Why don't you just stop believing a singer will ever turn up? Both of us know that's really not going to happen, and even if it did, I wouldn't go there. Why should I? I'm living the perfect life! I get to be drunk all the time, have sex and drain sorority girls. Why on earth should I give all that up, for a stupid human? You must think I'm crazy or something,” I said, shaking my head. I looked at the book in my hand. Wuthering heights. Great. He was reading that one again.

“What's going on down here, Stefan?”

Great, Barbie had arrived. Just great. She was wearing one of Stefan's shirts and nothing more than a pair of panties. Oh well, she did have a great body. I was so not complaining. Maybe she'd like to have some fun.

“Damon? What the hell are you doing here?”

Her eyes narrowed at me, as she crossed her arms over her chest, exactly like Stefan. Except she looked at lot more angry when she did that. And it pushed up her boobs. Again, I am so not complaining.

“Well, this is my home as much as it's Stefan's. I have every right to be here. Actually, my plan was to drink some more alcohol, go to bed and do that thing you do when you close your eyes and allow your body to rest. It's called sleep, ever heard of it?” I said in my usual sarcastic tone, emptying the glass and standing up from my place on the couch. Caroline sped to me, pressing me against the nearest wall with her hand against my throat. I raised one eyebrow and easily pushed her away, locking  _ my  _ hand over her throat.

Stefan let out a loud growl and launched at me, but I pushed him away easily. Stupid idiot didn't feed on anything else than animals, which was exactly the reason I was able to push him away with a flick of my wrist.

“Listen to me, Blondie, I have over a hundred years on you. Don't you ever begin to think you're stronger. Now, this is my home as well, and I'm going to be here for a while, whether you like it or not. So don't try any funny business.”

I let go of her throat and got up, looking over at Stefan. He was sitting a bit away, fire in his eyes, slightly bend knees. He was ready to go at me again, if I touched her. Idiot.

“Make her behave. I don't want to kill her. She seems to be able to at least make you somewhat near alive. I'll see you two tomorrow.”

With that comment I slowly made my way up the stairs, going to the northern wing, finding my room exactly as I'd left it. The books were still in place on their shelves, my bed was made with my silk sheets and my bathroom was clean as always. I smirked, grabbing a bottle of bourbon from my stash and started drinking, while shredding my clothes. The perfume of the girl I'd killed earlier was still hanging around me, and I hated that cheap stuff. She surely wouldn't be missed.

Not caring one small bit about nudity, I grabbed a towel and got into the shower, turning on the hot water and letting it glide down my body. It felt good, to wash my body after that night. That girl hadn't been my first one, and I had dried blood on my chest.

I'd brought a girl to my hotel room, before draining that girl. I should really stop making such a mess when I was fucking and draining, but... Well, where's the fun in that?

* * *

Stepping out of my bathroom, only clad in a towel, I dried off my hair, pulled off the towel and got under the sheets. I really needed sleep after that night. And just before I closed my eyes, I felt it. The lurch in my chest. Stunned, I waited, praying I had imagined it. That it wasn't real.

But then it happened again.

And again.

Please, God, no. I have never been a religious person, but at that moment, I was praying to every single God I knew of, that I had been wrong.

That one single thing I had spent two and a half centuries dreading, had finally happened. For the first time in 250 years, my heart was beating. And that could only mean one thing.

She had come.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 

I groaned as sunlight hit my face and an annoying thumbing woke me up. Who the hell were playing so loud, I could actually _feel_ the bass?! Whoever the person was, I was going to rip their fucking heads off. I didn't really care it was probably 2pm or something like that. I needed my sleep, and no one was going to interrupt that, human or vampire.

Feeling my head throbbing, I put my hand to my forehead and rubbed it lightly. And then the memories from the night before started to come back to me. My heart. No, no, no it couldn't be happening!

But sure enough, my heart was beating. There was this annoying throbbing in my chest, and I couldn't stop it. How ironic was that? Just yesterday, I'd been thinking about the fact that I was never ever going to have a singer. And all of sudden, she was here. She was born, and I already knew the exact rhythm of her heartbeat. Because my own freaking heart had the same.

I pulled away the sheets, walking to my dresser to find a pair of jeans to put on. I had always been the kind of guy to go commando. When I had them on, I walked downstairs, feeling the annoying throbbing all the way in my head. God, could this become any worse? I'd barely had the heartbeat for 24 hours, and I was already sick and tired of it. And I needed to have this for another 24 years, before I could be at peace again! Couldn't she just speed up aging or something?

I made my way to the basement, and grabbed four blood-bags from the fridge. My brother never touched these, but Caroline did indeed. My baby brother is boring enough to stick with the animal diet. I guess you could say he's the complete opposite of a vegetarian.

I am not complaining about his diet, though. I mean, sure, he was fun when he was on human blood. He knew how to have fun, drinking, fucking and draining. But he also left behind a big mess. And that wasn't very fun. Plus, now that he's on animal blood, I am so much stronger than him. And not just a little. I'm very much stronger. Guess I am the older brother after all!

“Damon, how many times have I told you not to let humans go to the... Oh!”

I turned around and saw Caroline standing before me, looking at my chest. Not because I was half naked, no. She'd seen me naked before. Lot's of times. No, it was the throbbing she had to be able to hear from my chest. That was what she was gazing at. I drained the blood bag without looking at her, throwing it in a garbage can and opening another one. I was going to need a lot of blood.

“Your heart...” she whispered, holding her hand before her mouth. I rolled me eyes and walked past her, getting the hell out of the basement. A bit too close to her for my taste.

“It's beating, stop staring like that. You're going to make Stefan believe you chose the wrong brother,” I said, putting in as much sarcasm as possible. Noway I was letting her know anything about the pull I felt. I knew where the little girl was. I knew her exact location, and I wanted to go there. But I so wasn't going to do that. I was going to go up and pack my stuff and get the hell out of here. Actually, I was going to get the hell out of the country.

“STEFAN! Oh my God, Stefan, Damon actually has a heart!” Caroline started running up the stairs, while yelling to her boyfriend. God, could those two be any worse?

I had just poured a big amount of blood into my bourbon as Stefan made his way downstairs, wearing his usual hero outfit, jeans and a tight fitting tanktop. He just needed a skirt, and he'd be more girly than Caroline.

Stefan stared at me for a minute, before focusing on my chest, and I knew the sound of my heartbeat was clear to him. And he'd comment something about me needing to go and see her in three, two...

“You should go and see her, Damon,” Stefan said, his face very serious. What did I tell you?

I raised my eyebrow at him and emptied the glass, going over a mental list of stuff I needed to bring with me. How much clothes did I need? And where would I go? Maybe back to Italy. Or Germany maybe... There were always a lot of alcohol and trouble over there.

“I am not going to see her, Stefan. Stop trying to be the saving hero. I'm going away, actually. I knew you wouldn't be too keen on having me in the house, so I've decided that I need to travel. I'll be in Italy if you need me... Or maybe Russia... France perhaps?” I flashed them my usual smirk, before heading upstairs and into my room. I didn't miss Stefan's comment to Caroline.

“This is either going to be the best thing that's happened to him or the worst...” he sighed. I rolled my eyes. Baby bro was worried about me. Well, he got something right – this was officially the worst thing that had ever happened to me. And that included the times I'd tried to have my mind pierced with more than million burning needles by a witch. Stupid bitches.

Now I had this annoying thumping in my chest, reminding me that my whole existence suddenly had a meaning, and that I shouldn't be on the run from Mystic Falls. I should probably be vampire speeding to the local hospital, right into the nursery and see her. But I wasn't going to do that. I could feel the pull, no doubt about that. But no way I was actually going to submit to it. Stefan may have been weak, but I wasn't going to be. This baby was going to be fine without me, and in 24 years, I'd be free of that annoying beating in my chest.

I threw a couple of shirts and jeans into a bag, wondering what else I could possibly need. Alcohol, maybe? A couple of books? Blood, definitely.

* * *

 

Okay, I admit it, I might have dragged out my packing a bit... It might have been around eight o'clock, when I left, and I maybe wasn't going to drive out of the city...

I felt like the biggest pussy in centuries. My own freaking brother and his singer had actually talked me into going to see her. Just once. And here I was, on my way, all alone, to Mystic Falls hospital, to look at the tiny human I was meant to protect for all of her life.

Yeah, right, that's not going to happen.

I was going to go, just to prove Stefan wrong. As soon as I arrived, I would take one look at all the babies, not even knowing which one was my singer, and then I would leave again. Then I would go out and drink my bourbon, find some girl and have a little drink. In the morning I would return home, my confident smirk on my lips, as I told him about the evening and next thing would be for me to leave the country.

If only that had been what happened.

I felt totally ridiculous, as I sat in my car, draining at least four blood-bags. I didn't need that much. No where near that amount, actually. But I couldn't have a child's life in my hands. I couldn't lose control in there and drain a baby. I wouldn't let myself. I had to take the right precautions. Plus the whole drinking thing was another thing delaying me in going in there, another thing that kept me from submitting to the urge I had to vampire speed up the stairs to see the baby that was waiting for me.

Of course she wasn't waiting for me! She was a child, and a stupid human as well. She wouldn't know who I was. She would know nothing. Actually, she would probably be asleep, not even noticing my presence in the room. Hopefully she would just be sleeping.

I took in a deep breath before leaving my car, slowly walking inside, following the pulling from my chest. Her heartbeat. I could hear her heartbeat, in perfect synchronization to my own. Our hearts were beating together. I compelled the nurse at the disk to let me through, and went on, trying to keep my steps at human speed. My body wanted to use my vampire speed to get to her. It wanted me to hurry.

Why? She wasn't in danger. She couldn't already be, plus her heart was beating slowly and securely. She was sleeping. I could recognize the sound of a sleeping human heart any day. And she was asleep.

I turned around the corner, and could see the big glass window that, in a few seconds, would allow me to look at my singer. This was actually going to happen. I was actually going to meet my singer. She was in there.

I couldn't help it. I vamp sped the rest of the way, and as soon as I laid eyes on the babies, I could see her. There she was. Wrapped up in blankets, sucking on her thumb, safely asleep. I put my hands on the glass, wanting to be closer. I wanted to be able to touch her. That little fragile human in there, changed everything going on in my mind. Of course I was going to protect her. Of course I was going to, she was special, and I needed her. How could I not protect someone as innocent as her?

“Which one is yours?” I was almost gasping at the female nurse next to me. It had been years, centuries since a woman had been able to sneak up on me. I'd been way too caught up with the girl that was in there. What the hell was wrong with me? Oh, no time to think about that.

“Her,” I said, pointing towards the small girl. The nurse smiled at me. She had to be in her fifties or sixties, dark skin and friendly eyes. I had no intentions of drinking from her, at all. I forced her eyes on me, feeling the power of compulsion race through me.

“Let me into the room, and tell me everything about her and her parents,” I said. Her eyes went dazed as she nodded lightly and found her keys. She opened the door, closed to behind us and walked to the crib that held the little girl.

“Her name is Elena Gilbert. She was born on July 12th 1994 and had trouble breathing at first. We got that under control, and she's acting exactly like a girl her age should. Her parents are called Miranda and Grayson Gilbert. Grayson is a doctor here and him and his wife has wanted children for a long time. It was a miracle when Miranda got pregnant.”

The nurse was still under my power. Oh well, being a vampire definitely had it's perks.

“You are going to make sure she get's the best treatment possible. I am going to pay for any extra stuff she might need. Give her everything she needs. She is the most important baby here,” I said, not even recognizing my voice as I said the words. I was paying for her hospital bills. I was seriously going all the way for this tiny little human. But it suddenly didn't seem to important anymore. I just wanted to protect her. I wanted this little girl to have everything she'd ever dreamed of. I wanted her to live her life fully, without worrying about a single thing.

“Leave and forget about this.”   
The nurse left, leaving me alone with her.

Elena.

I loved that name. It fit her so perfectly. I recognized the name, actually. It was Latin. Meant light. And boy, did that fit her. She was my light. I would never admit it to anyone, but this little girl, this Elena, was my number one priority. All of my previous thinking, about just let her living her life, went out the window, the moment I laid my eyes on her. How could I not protect her? How would I ever be able to let her die?  
Simple. I wouldn't.

I slowly raised my hand, caressing her small cheek very carefully. In the exact moment our skin touched, her eyes shut wide open, and she cocked her head, looking at me with a curious expression. I was stunned to see her eyes. Big, brown, beautiful doe eyes were looking at me. It wasn't right for a baby her age to be able to move her head like that, but she did. And that intense gaze she had.

One of her tiny hands came to my finger, grabbing it in a tight grip and pulling me closer. With a small unconscious smile, I let her pull my finger to her mouth and let her take it in. Her teethless gums locked around my finger, before she opened her mouth again and did something I hadn't expected. She giggled. How was that even possible? She was less than 24 hours old, and she was giggling. Was babies supposed to giggle?

To be honest, I couldn't really bring my self to care. She was obviously good. She was happy. And she was healthy. That was all that mattered to me.

“Elena Gilbert...” I let the name fall off my tongue, already liking the way it sort of just fit in my mouth. She cocked her head once again and let out a little tingling laugh. I felt my heart melt at that sound. My _beating_ heart. I could already tell she was special. Normal children wouldn't laugh until they were at least two months old. But here she was, laughing at me, her eyes shining with happiness. How could someone that small be able to feel that?

“You can hold her if you want, you know.”   
The nurse had returned. I looked at her with big eyes. Normally I would have laughed and told her hundreds of reasons why I didn't want to care for a small child. But this was Elena. She was my singer. The nurse lifted her carefully and showed me how to hold my arms.

And then I was holding her. She weighed absolutely nothing. Her fragile little body was laying in my arms, not a single sign of the smile that had been there a few seconds ago. She looked like an entirely normal baby, except for her eyes. They were locked on mine, and they were shining with happiness and affection.

The nurse handed me a bottle filled with milk, a smile upon her lips. I took it, never letting go of Elena, and looked confused between the two.

“Just hold it to her mouth. She'll do the rest herself,” the nurse said, smiling softly at me. I cradled Elena carefully, as I put the bottle to her mouth, not even blinking, afraid to miss something important. Her tiny mouth took the tip of the bottle into her mouth, and she suckled at it with eagerness, almost choking on the milk. I lowered the bottle a small bit, still bouncing her lightly while keeping her as close to my body as possible, without breaking her fragile bones.

* * *

 

It took me almost two hours to let go of Elena again. But as soon as she was gone from my viewpoint, I returned to my old habits. What the fuck had I just been doing?! I had been doing exactly what I didn't want to do! I'd been in there, holding her, and I'd been completely lost in her eyes.

I needed to get out, to get a drink, and to find someone to fuck. This wasn't me, for fuck's sake! I didn't even want a singer. I didn't need a singer! I wasn't my freaking brother! I was close to almost slamming my door when I got into my car. What the hell was happening to me? I almost hurt my baby!

I pulled out from the hospital parking lot and hurried towards my favorite bar in Richmond. I needed a drink, desperately. Hopefully that drink would come from someone blonde and willing. Hell, she didn't even have to be willing. Maybe I'd just attack the first woman I saw, hopefully drain her dry. Because then I'd have some sort of control over my body. I would have control over that woman's life. And I would kill her, knowing that I was the one to decide her fate.

No, tonight, I was going to be in my predator mode. Which meant I was going to guy in and buy a drink, and find a quiet street, before attacking someone. And I was going to enjoy their screams. Tonight I wasn't using compulsion or any of my other tricks. I was being what I really am – a predator.

I made my way to the bar, ignoring all the looks the woman in the bar was giving me. I was well aware of my good looking body. I didn't need a silly human to point it out for me. And normally, I would probably use my good looks to make a woman come to the street with me, compelling her to keep quiet, take some blood and compel her to forget everything about the small encounter.

Tonight was different. I couldn't possibly care less about their looks and their attempts to make me look down their cleavage. This bar didn't exactly attract hot females – more like woman in their 40's, putting on way too much make-up, to try and get something from a guy way out of their league. Sad little humans. They had so few years to live in, and most of them wasted the time completely. The woman who was on her way to sit down next to me, was the perfect example of just how much those silly little creatures wasted their life time. I'll even prove it to you, as soon as she sits down!

“Fancy a drink, handsome?”

See my point? A woman, clearly looking at least twenty years older than me, coming up to me and asking me if I want a drink. If that isn't a sad life, I don't know what is.

“Already have one,” I said, lifting my glass of bourbon to show her and then downed it. Hopefully she would get the message. I really didn't have time to deal with annoying humans.

“Well, now you haven't, and I really wouldn't mind giving you what you want?” Her eyes moved up and down my body, a confident smirk placed on her cracked lips. God, she looked disgusting. And was that supposed to be a pick up line? God, why did I even bother with this species?   
“You feel like going home, right now,” I said, compelling the woman. Her eyes went dazed for a minute, before she stood up and grabbed her purse.

“I think I'm going home. Here's my number, if you feel like it,” she said, leaving her number on the bar before walking out. Maybe I should follow her. I could chase her into some quiet alley and drain her. I would probably do every single good looking guy on earth a favor.

I ordered another bourbon from the bartender, figuring I might as well give the woman a little head start. There was something thrilling about the chase. Not that it would be very hard to find her. The amount of perfume did help a lot.

I missed the late 1700's more and more each decade.

Don't get me wrong, I love the whole tight fitting clothes thing. I love it, when sexy women are the ones wearing it. But when a woman, that clearly should be dead from obesity, is wearing clothes showing of all the curves she shouldn't have, I found myself missing the dresses and corsets from back then. And there had always been some kind of excitement about ripping the dress off a woman, seeing her curves for the first time.

But I did love the young, sexy women, who wore skintight clothes.

After emptying my glass, I got up from my uncomfortable seat and put on my leather jacket. Time to start the chase.

As soon as I stepped outside, I could smell the trail of her perfume. Hopefully she hadn't used too much on her neck. Oh well, if she had, I would find another artery to drain. No problem.

I strolled down the streets, following the trail, while using only a little bit of my vampire speed. No need to get this over with fast. I would take my time, tracking her down and killing her. This was what I did. This was who I was. A predator. Not a freaking weak emotional human.

At the memory of the feelings I'd experienced at the hospital, I let out a growl, feeling my face change. Screw patience.

I pulled the woman inside a dark alley and immediately plunged my fangs into her neck. She screamed, her body fighting my attack. I reveled in it. And as her body grew limp in my arms and her screams died with her, I laughed, enjoying the fact that I had taken back the power over my body. My heart may be beating, but I wasn't defeated yet. Why return to having emotions, when it was so much more fun without them?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I*m hoping to hear your thoughts in a comment!


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 

I opened the door to the boarding house, not caring at all that my brother and his singer was going to get shocked by the amount of blood on my shirt. Good thing I'm an 'all black' guy. Blood was never that visible on black clothes, comparing it to other colors. I was exhausted, after doing my packing again and again, and finally going to see that little girl. No matter what I did, I wasn't able to get her off my mind. Oh well, I would forget her eventually. And that annoying thumping in my chest would stop. I would go back to normal, living life as if nothing had happened.

“Damon? Is that you?”

Stefan came walking down the stairs, this time not wearing a shirt, only his jeans. Suddenly I was glad I didn't come home five minutes earlier. Listening to him and Blondie screw each other's brains out wasn't exactly my kind of entertainment. I didn't need to be reminded that I hadn't had sex tonight, and the sun was coming up. I just wanted to go to my shower, get that nasty perfume off my clothes and my skin, and go to bed.

I did already know, however, that I wouldn't be getting much sleep, thanks to the loud noise coming from my chest. God, was I really going to go with that for the next 24 years?

“No, little brother, it's a vampire hunter, coming to tell you to start living as a real vampire instead of a freaking vegetarian.”

Okay, so I might not have been in the best of moods. But to be fair, Stefan has always been the one to ask the most stupid questions. Like that one. Why shouldn't it be me? Who the fuck else would go to the old boarding house, when obviously, someone was living there? Sometimes I wondered if I was the one getting every single functional brain cell from our parents. It sure did seem like it most of the time.

“Did you go and- oh my God, did you kill her?!”

Stefan's eyes went wide as they focused on my blood soaked shirt. I flashed him a smirk and started unbuttoning my shirt.

“No, stupid. Can't you hear my heart? I think this one was called... I don't even know her name. But she definitely deserved to die. And I needed a meal, so convenient!” I said, loosing the shirt and making my way to the stairs, where Stefan had frozen into place, looking at the shirt. God, him and his human blood. He'd been off human blood for 82 years, but he still seemed like the same recovering addict he'd been back then. At least I hadn't been around when he'd started drinking that awful shit. He'd laid off the human blood for Caroline's sake. As soon as his heart had started, he'd gotten off it, accepting the boring role of being a protector of a human.

Stupid idiot.

“Don't even think about it. You are not going anywhere near this or any human blood. Forget it,” I said, starting to walk up the stairs to get rid of the shirt. No matter how much I hated Stefan's vegetarian diet, I knew it was better that he stayed on that, rather than becoming 'The Ripper' again. I really didn't want to start cleaning up after his mess again.

“Did you go and see her?” I heard his question from the parlor, even though it was spoken with normal volume. I was a vampire for God's sake, I would've heard if he whispered it.

“So not any of your business,” I said, closing the door to my room, shutting him and the rest of the world out. I really didn't want to deal with all this singer piss right now. I just wanted to go and enjoy a warm shower, getting that bitch's perfume of my freaking skin.

But right as I stepped under the sprays of the shower, I felt it. My heart rate sped up, only a little bit. Elena was awake. She wasn't sleeping anymore. And immediately I caught my self thinking about her. I wondered what she was doing. Probably resting in her parent's arms, pretending to be a completely ordinary little baby. If only they knew.

They would probably never have any idea, just how special that little girl was. She probably didn't laugh and giggle when she was around them. Human babies didn't start showing emotions like that, when they were only 30 hours old. This girl was something special, and she was mine to protect.

God, I had to stop thinking about her! She was ruining my life, taking away my sleep with that annoying heart beat. She was a human, for Christ sake! Nothing more than that!

I groaned and leaned my head back, letting the water roll down my body. One in freaking three vampires got a singer, and I had to be one of them?  _ Me  _ of all people? I had to be the most unfitting person to take care of a silly little human. I was supposed to protect that little girl.

I let my mind go back to when I visited her in the hospital. What the hell had happened? As soon as I had seen her, it was like all of my troubles had disappeared. She had been the only thing that mattered. How was that even possible? A human, that mattered to me? Not in this life time!

But if I only felt like that when I was with her, my solution was easy enough. I just had to stay away from her, and let her live her life.

The picture of her small hands around my finger and the beautiful sound from her laugh made it's way into my mind. How would I be able to  _ not  _ protect that little human? How could I leave her alone?

I seriously needed a drink.

* * *

 

 

It was around eight PM, when I was starting to get frustrated. I had been drinking ever since I got out of the shower, and I was above the line of wasted. And that infamous thing in my chest, wouldn't stop beating! I just wanted it to freaking  _ stop! _

That little girl deserved someone good. Someone like my saint like brother. Not someone like me. I was way too sinister for her. I killed people, for Christ's sake! I would have to stop that, to be good. I would have to start compelling my victims, and let them go. I would have to stop drinking. And I would have to follow her everywhere, sitting in the shadows and watching her grow up.

I could never be that good person for her! Of course I couldn't!

Making a quick decision, I threw my glass to the fireplace and pushed my hand into my own chest. It hurt like hell, yes. But with my hand around my heart, I might be able to stop it! I just wanted it to be quiet. Just for a minute.

Of course it didn't help at all. Actually, it did the complete opposite. The annoying thumping sped up. Elena was either awake again or getting worked up. Could she be afraid?

“Damon- Wow, what the hell are you doing?”

Stefan stopped dead in his tracks as he saw me sitting on the couch, my hand plunged into my chest, grabbing heart painfully. I probably should put on the sarcastic mask, but I was way too drunk to care.

“It. Won't. Stop!” I said, my teeth clenched from the pain of holding my own heart in my hand. I wasn't new to the pain of having someone's hand in my chest, but having to actually grab my heart myself, was tough.

“And it probably won't either, if you rip it out. Actually, you'll probably just die and probably hurt your singer in the process. You're connected. You can't know if she can feel this, and is in pain, just like you. Just let it go, Damon...”

He moved closer to me, small careful steps, his eyes never leaving my body. He was right. He was fucking right. I let go and pulled out my hand, looking at the blood that drenched my hand. I'd held Elena in those hands just 24 hours ago. That hand that was now covered in blood, and that wasn't unusual for me. I couldn't be what I needed to be.

“I can't do this, Stefan. I have no idea what I'm doing. This isn't me. This singer shit. It's you... I'm the bad guy, remember? I kill people, I love being a vampire. I love being a predator. But this little human... How am I supposed to protect her? She deserves better. She deserves a vampire that'll actually be there, will actually protect her...”

I was a whimp, a pussy, but the alcohol did that I really didn't care at all. Stefan was here, and my statement had been true. Stefan had been great as soon as his heart had started beating. He'd changed his whole life for Caroline, going off human blood and becoming the hero he was today. I wouldn't be able to do that for Elena. I wanted to, God, I wanted to. But I couldn't.

“You went to see her, didn't you?” Stefan asked, as he sat down next to me, looking at me. I nodded and cleaned my hand in my ruined shirt. Why had I even put on a shirt? I wasn't going to leave the house anyway.

“And did you kill her?” he asked. My head immediately snapped up, looking at him with narrowed eyes. How could he think that I would ever harm her? How could he think that I would be able to kill her?

“Did you feel like drinking from her?”

I felt disgusted just by the thought. Drinking from Elena. Taking something against her will, from someone that small, that pure. No. I would never drink from her.

“Of course I didn't feel like drinking from her! I could never harm her, Stefan,  _ never! _ ” I felt like holding him by his throat, just for mentioning that. I would never ever do something like that to her. Of course I wouldn't.

“You held her, didn't you? And did you break any of her bones?” Stefan kept going, not caring about my answer. I let out a growl and pinned him to the sofa by his throat, by blood covered right hand tightening it's grip. Even after ripping a hole in my chest, I was stronger than him.

“Exactly...” I loosened my grip and pulled away from him again. What if anything like that happened with Elena? What if I lost control, being with her? She was nothing but a small, fragile human. I could break one of her bones with one finger. A single time of losing control, could cause her death.

“You don't have to know what to do. It'll come to you. You just know. Your instincts will be there to catch you. Just accept it, Damon. You have a singer. And you're ready for it. It'll come to you.”

I shook my head at Stefan's words, and buried my face in my hands. It wouldn't just come to be. I'd been there, I'd held her and I'd seen her giggle at me. I hadn't hurt her. But I would. I was so strong, comparing to her weak body. I could lose control, so easy.

“I'm not, Stefan. I'm not like you. I'm not the hero type. I can't just change my entire life for this girl. And she deserves someone who can. I'm the bad guy! I kill, I feed, I screw around, I drink myself into a stupor. I can't be the person she needs. I can't be the protector she needs! God damn it, Stefan, I'm not good enough.”

I walked to the bar, pouring my self another glass of bourbon. I didn't want this drunken haze to go away. I wanted it to stay. Maybe then I would be able to ignore my beating heart. It had slowed down again. Elena was asleep.

“It'll come, Damon. Go up, shower and get some rest. And then you can go see her in the morning or something like that. You need to visit her. You need to see her,” Stefan said, standing up from the couch. I raised an eyebrow at him and threw the liquid down my throat. It burnt all the way down, and I liked it. It was a feeling I knew, a feeling I was used to. The alcohol warming it's way all down my throat, making my senses blur.

Stefan took away the glass and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I knew there was no way around. I sighed and walked towards the stairs, ready to go up and do exactly as he told me. He was, after all, the one with the experience about singers.

* * *

 

 

When I woke up, it was almost 3 PM and the afternoon sun was shining brightly through my window. If I had been a human, my head would've killed me, but lucky for me, vampires don't get hangovers. That didn't change the fact that the sun was annoying, though.

As soon as my eyes had adjusted to the light in my room, I let my focus go to my chest. My heart was beating steadily, telling me Elena was still sleeping. Didn't that girl do anything besides sleeping?

As I was laying in my bed, I let my mind wander on the night before. The talk with Stefan had been pretty unusual for our relationship. Ever since the catastrophe that happened when we turned, we hadn't really been close, and in the beginning I'd really missed my little brother. But then I'd found out the thing that had made me go through those years. Vampires are able to turn their emotions off. And I loved being without emotions. But Elena brought them back, and Stefan had managed to as well yesterday. I was getting way too close to turning them on again, and I wasn't ready for that yet. I loved being without emotions. That was what made me able to kill people without feeling any kind of remorse. That, and the fact that I hated those silly humans.

I sighed and got off the bed, throwing on some random clothes. Stefan was right. I needed to see her again, no matter how much I wanted to stay away. I had to say goodbye to her before I left the country. I couldn't stay here and risk her life by being in it. She would be fine. I would protect her by leaving. It would work out.

I pulled out a duffel bag from a closet, starting to pack clothes. I would resume the plan I'd left two days ago. I was going to fly to Italy and spend some time there. It was, after all, my home country. Maybe I would go back and visit my mother's grave. I hadn't visited in almost 40 years. It was time to go back.

Okay, so maybe my emotions wasn't off all the time. I allowed them to come back once in a while – but only when I could control it. I couldn't with Elena. For God's sake, a small human baby had made me do stuff I would never ever do normally.

Which is why I couldn't trust myself with being around her. I could lose control at any moment. I could have her by her throat if she ever decided to go against me, or say something I didn't like, when she was bigger. I could kill her so easily, and I couldn't let my self do that. I couldn't live with my self, if I ever hurt her.

Taking a break from my packing, I went downstairs to get a blood-bag and a glass of bourbon. I needed to be sure I wasn't going to just attack her, when I got there. It was possibly the last time I ever got to see her and I wanted to be able to say a proper goodbye to her. She was, after all, pretty special.

As soon as I stepped inside, Caroline was sitting in the parlor, doing some work stuff. Yes, Caroline, a vampire, almost 83 years old, had a job. I'd always seen it as pretty stupid. For God's sake, we were vampires! We didn't need jobs! We stole from our victims and had no problem getting money. If it was a trouble, we compelled the way out of it. Why spend time on working?

Apparently Caroline thought it was a nice thing to keep her humanity intact. I had to scoff. Humanity? Who the hell needed their humanity!? But no, Caroline wanted to be like Stefan, and went on, trying to be as human as possible.

Hence the reason she was working as an event planner. Stefan told me she was great at it, but I really couldn't care less. It was a stupid job, a stupid idea, and I didn't even want to know what she did.

I was, however, pretty interested in what it was like, being a singer. And she might be the perfect person to ask. Maybe I could try convincing her I was trying to get my emotions back, to be the person Elena deserved. That would be a lie. I don't let my emotions stay permanently. Never.

“Did you go to see her?” Caroline asked, as I went to the bourbon and poured my self a glass. I turned around and raised an eyebrow at her. She hadn't even looked up from her work. She knew how to use  _ some  _ of her vampire perks, at least.

“Yeah... I did,” I said, not seeing the point of lying. Stefan had probably already told her. She was probably just trying to be polite as always, trying to cover up just how nosy she was. Even before turning, Caroline had known everything about everyone and what was going on in her neighborhood.

“Let me guess, she woke up, touched you and seemed a bit too happy for a newborn?”

I almost choked on my bourbon. How the hell did she know that? She finally looked up from her work and smiled at me, knowingly. That had to mean that something similar had happened to Caroline. What had happened with Elena wasn't unusual for a singer.

“Stefan told me about the first time I met him. Actually, he just kind of told me the full story, after he told me what I was and what he was. She'll do unusual stuff when you're around her. Don't be surprised if she starts saying your name in a month or two. And she'll probably always be happy and safe when you're around. That will falter when she get's older. She'll always feel safe when you're there, but not as much as when she's still just a baby.”

I had no idea how to react to that one. Elena wouldn't be saying my name in a couple of months, because I wouldn't be there. I would be in Italy, my emotions off, draining girls and having fun. I needed to get away. I needed a sea between us, because then I wouldn't come running back. I wasn't going to.

“I'm going to leave the country. I, um... Say bye to Stefan from me.”

I used my vampire speed to get to my room, gathering my duffel bags, a couple of blood-bags, and then got down to my car. Stefan was leaning on his own car, looking at me with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You can't fight it, you know.” He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. Great, baby bro had strapped on the hero hair, trying to save me from being a big badass vampire. Well, guess what, too late.

“Don't try to save me, Stefan. I'm going out of the country, and I'm not returning within 50 years. You and Caroline have a good time here until then.”

I threw my duffel bags in the back of my car and got in with a blood-bag in the hand. He didn't need to know that the airport wasn't my first stop. He just sighed and shook his head, returning to the house. I pulled out, draining the bag while turning on the radio. I was going to see her again.

* * *

 

 

My timing was totally perfect. By the time I had reached the hospital and compelled the receptionist, Elena's parents had gone to sleep, leaving Elena in one of those rooms with other babies. I quickly made my way up there, finding the same nurse patrolling the hallways. She smiled at me, and once again asked me which one was mine. This time I didn't have time to talk to her. I just compelled her to let me in and give me a bottle with milk.

When I was standing next to Elena's crib, I looked down at her with a faint smile on my lips. Her heart was beating slowly, indicating she was sleeping. She looked so peaceful, laying there, wrapped in a pink blanket. Her name was printed on her tiny beanie and her face looked relaxed.

This time I didn't hesitate to carefully pick her up and place her in my arms. I know I shouldn't hold her. I could break her. But I just couldn't stay away from her.

Her small eyes opened as soon as I touched her, and as they slowly focused on me, a smile spread across her lips and her hand fought to get out of the blanket. I carefully unwrapped it and her hand gripped my finger again. A full-blown smile made it's way onto my lips, as I cradled her, making sure she was comfortable.

“Hello, little Elena.” I whispered, careful not to wake any of the others babies. A small giggle escaped her lips when I said her name, and her grip around my finger tightened.

“You're very special, do you know that?” I suddenly found my self at loss for words. How the hell did I tell her that I was going to leave her? And how would I even be able to go through with it? How would I be able to leave this tiny girl? I wanted to stay here. I wanted to watch her grow up, and protect her from any kind of heartbreak. I wanted to protect her when she was old enough to go out, being at the bars she went to, and making sure no one touched her.

I wanted to be there to see her do all the cliche stuff. I just wanted to be there.

“And I am going to be protecting you. For all of your life. You're probably never going to see me, but I'll be there. I will make sure you live the most amazing life ever. You have something good to look forward to.”

I didn't even think, as the words left my mouth. I just knew they were true. Of course I couldn't leave her! I was made for her. She was made for me. How could I leave her? I needed to protect her. I needed to be there.

“And you are probably starving. Which is why I am going to feed you.”

The nurse handed me the bottle, and I felt our hearts speed up in synchronization. I chuckled lightly and held it to her mouth. She let go of my finger and reached for the bottle. I just held it there, letting her take what she wanted to. I was fucked, I was whipped, and I didn't care.

* * *

 

 

Four hours later, I was walking through the parlor, my duffel bag on my back. Stefan was sitting on the couch, Caroline snuggled into his body, sleeping. He smirked at me, seeming way too smug about the fact that I was back home.

“Shut it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

_ -4 years later _

 

As I let my Camaro glide down through the streets of Mystic Falls, I couldn't help but look around. I knew what Elena's parents looked like, and they probably wouldn't have changed that much, during the 3½ years I had spent in Italy. It had taken me six months to get myself together to leave Elena. And I had. My emotions had been off, while I had been in Italy, except for one moment, where I had gone back to my mother's grave.

Every time I went to my mother's grave, I forced myself to feel. Because I couldn't even look at her name, without feeling just how much I missed her. Even after almost 263 years, I still missed her. And I probably always would. I only had 13 years with my mom. Not nearly enough. After her death, everything had been hell on earth, and I did everything I could to not think of that time. Instead, I felt much better, thinking about how I decapitated my father only a few years after turning into one of the monsters he so passionately hated. Many people would've felt bad about killing their father, but in my case, even with my emotions on, I didn't regret it one bit. He had it coming, and it was exactly what he deserved.

Stefan hadn't even mourned over his death. He had been busy draining girls in France. His humanity switch was almost permanently on 'off' and he had embraced his 'Ripper' character fully. He was fun, but he left a huge mess every single time.

And here I was, back in Mystic Falls, because Stefan had called me. How he found a way to contact me was a mystery for now, but I really didn't care, as soon as I heard what he had to say. Elena's mom was pregnant again. Elena was having a little brother. This was exactly one of the important moments in her life I had told myself I had to be there. When Stefan had called, I'd just brushed him off. Little did he know I was already looking for plane tickets back.

I had left to protect her, I knew that. But I just couldn't stay away. The nurse had told me back then, that it had been a miracle Miranda, Elena's mom, had become pregnant. Anything could happen during the birth, and I didn't want Elena to live without her mother. I would save her, if necessary. If not, I would keep in the shadows, looking at my little girl.

She was four now. And I was going to see her for the first time in four years. She had probably grown a lot. Human babies did that. I wondered what color her hair would be. I already knew the color of her eyes. Those eyes hadn't left my mind ever since I saw her the first time. Damn that freaking singer bond!

I hadn't really accepted the fact that my heart was actually beating during the time I had been away. The noise was still unbelievable annoying, but it was my only connection to Elena, and the only thing that reassured me she was fine. Of course I knew she would be. Even if I couldn't be there, Stefan and Caroline kept an eye on her. I wasn't sure if she could die before she reached my age, but I didn't want to take that risk. I had twenty years left to make the decision whether I wanted to turn her or not.

* * *

 

As I drove past the new restaurant that had opened in the town, I saw her. Miranda was walking out of the restaurant, The Grill, holding Grayson's hand. They didn't have Elena with them. She had to be at their home or something.

Miranda was obviously far along in her pregnancy. Her stomach was big, showing that she had a little boy in there. Elena's little brother. I slowed down a bit, and watched them as they walked along the streets. They were obviously in love with each other. They would be good parents.

As they turned around the corner, I found my self parking my car and following them. I wanted to know where Elena lived. Right now her heartbeat was steady and slow; she was sleeping.

When they walked up to a house on Maple Street, I stayed outside, watching them go in, before returning to my car. I could feel Elena's presence in the house. She was there, and she was safe. And that was what was important to me.

I could hear the heartbeat of another human in there. That had to be the babysitter. No way Miranda and Grayson had let their four year old daughter be home alone, while they went on a date. That wasn't the people I had watched four years ago.

Happy that she was safe, I started walking back towards the town square. I was hungry as hell. I hadn't fed ever since I left Italy, almost 10 hours ago. Maybe I would find a meal on the way. I didn't really feel like a lousy blood-bag, when I returned to the boarding house. Maybe that new place, The Grill, would be perfect to pick up something to eat.

I walked inside, looking around. The place was nice. There were tables and booths and a small dance floor. On there, on my right, was a bar. Great, this would work out just fine. I sat down on one of the bar stools, ordering a bourbon on the rocks. The dark haired bartender didn't even ask for ID. Instead she looked me up and down, and flashed me her cleavage as she handed me my drink. Great, maybe that could be the meal of tonight.

“Haven't seen you around before. What's your name gorgeous?” she said, letting the bottle stay on the table. I smirked at her and gave her my killer look. Oh yes, I had missed American women.

“That's because I've just returned here, after being overseas. I'm Damon. And you?”

I could smell her arousal mixing with the scent of alcohol and her subtle perfume. Oh well, at least she wasn't as bad as some of the women here. She seemed to be in her late twenties, and she wasn't bad looking. Maybe I would let this one live. She was obviously one people would notice if was missing. Oh well, she would give me blood, and maybe we would have a bit of fun as well. This night wasn't turning out as terrible as I had thought.

“I'm Kelly. Donovan. Tell you what, drinks on the house tonight,” she said, refilling my empty tumbler. Oh yes, this was great.

* * *

 

 

Two hours later, I was supporting a very drunk Kelly Donovan out of the back door to The Grill. I had to say, that woman wasn't bad at all. After people had started to leave, and the young people had come to dance and drink, she had been in on every drinking game I had in mind. She was totally wasted now, and I should probably carry her, but I didn't bother. She was fine like this.

“I think, I better drive you home, madame. You seem to be very drunk,” I said, laughing a bit when she looked up at me with blurred eyes.

“You don't even know where I live,” she pointed out, laughing and falling to my side again. I caught her and walked away from my car. She seemed like she would be able to throw up at any time, and I didn't want human puke all over my leather seats. I could just use my vampire speed to speed us to her place, have sex with her, take some blood and then compel her to forget it all. Then I would go home, and sleep at my own place, waiting for Miranda to go into labor. Maybe I could hope to catch a glimpse of Elena at the hospital. I wanted to see her hold her little brother for the first time. I remembered doing that myself, and I wanted to see the expression that would surely be printed on her lips. A little brother was something special, no matter if you were a boy or a girl.

“Well, you can show me the way, and I will promise to carry you,” I said, remembering the drunk woman in my arms. I should probably take care of her, and push Elena out of my mind for the next five hours or so. I would have lot's of time to think about her later. I really didn't want to have her innocent little face in mind, when I fucked and drank from Kelly. No need to ruin the experience.

“Fine... That way.”

Kelly guided me, and I took her in my arms, carrying her the way she showed me. If I hadn't had my vampire strength, I probably wouldn't have been able to carry her all the way to her house, but lucky for us, I had that feature.

She didn't even notice. She was a bit too drunk to care about the inhuman speed and all. Plus, she seemed to be busy planting sloppy kisses down my neck. I couldn't bring myself to care. Kisses had stopped turning me on a long time ago. I usually needed something a bit more... Touchy. Ah well, we would get to that part, when we were inside.

I stopped in front of the house she had directed me to, and she said something about the door being open. I shrugged and opened the door, setting her down and letting her walk inside by her self. She just needed to say those words...

“Come on in, handsome. You can't just stand out there,” she smiled drunkenly at me and made a 'come hither' motion with her fingers. Great, didn't even have to convince her to let me in.

I smirked at her, stepping over the threshold and taking her into my arms. She wasn't bad.

Compelling her to keep silent, I let my fangs drop and quickly pierced her neck. Oh yes, exactly what I needed.

* * *

 

 

“You're not staying?” I looked at Kelly as I stood up and started to get dressed. She wasn't bad, actually. I was glad I let that one live. She could have something good from life, I was sure of that one. I smiled at her and pulled on my jeans.

“Nope. I've got important things to do. Now, tomorrow you're going to feel a bit sore and take some iron pills. I rocked your world and we had a fantastic night. And right now, you're going to sleep.” I leaned over the bed to look her into the eyes. Her look turned dazed and then clear again. She smiled at me, kissing me quickly, before laying down.

“Night, handsome.”

I chuckled and made my way out of the bedroom, going to the door again. I frowned as I stepped into the living room. Someone was here. Someone breathing. I opened the door on the left of me, and frowned as I stepped in. A child's room. Kelly had a son.

Fortunately, he seemed to have slept through our small encounter. Oh well, I'd experienced worse.

Closing the door behind me, I left the small house, my leather jacket hanging over my shoulder. Nothing like a welcoming drink when you return to your home city.

* * *

 

 

“Oh, Stef! Guess who's home!” I walked through the parlor of the boarding house, looking for my baby bro and his annoying singer. Only bad thing about being back in Mystic Falls would be those two. I felt like puking every God damn time I saw those two exchange those loving looks. And I'm a freaking vampire.

Not getting an answer, I frowned and walked upstairs, to his wing of the house. He would've told me, if they'd left Mystic Falls. He knew right from the moment he called me, that I would come. Sadly, Stefan was my brother, and even though we'd spent the past 254 years fighting like crazy, he still knew me better than anyone else. God, I was turning into a sap.

Not bothering to knock at all, I opened the door to his room, walking right in on Caroline laying on my baby bro, both of them a bit too naked for my taste. Ugh, not a great way to start my visit. Stefan opened his eyes, his hand slowly caressing Caroline's blonde hair, while he motioned for me to get the hell out. I rolled my eyes at his lovely gestures, and hurried out of their room. Maybe I should just go for the day. I really didn't feel like listening to my brother having sex.

Trying to push the way too loving couple out of my mind, I made my way to my own room. I was in big need of a drink, gladly a strong one. And maybe I should go to sleep. I couldn't just return to my old sleeping habits, sleeping during the day and partying all night long. I needed to be fit for fight when Miranda would go into labor. Maybe I would even see Elena at the hospital. Laying down on the bed with a book and a glass of bourbon, I couldn't help but think about the little girl. How did she look now? Would her hair have grown? Would she still launch into a fit of smiles and giggles when she saw me? Would I even let her see me?

She was four years old now. She wouldn't remember me, if she saw me, right? She was still just a small child. And I would just be another stranger at the hospital. Would she be talkative? Maybe she would be shy, sticking to her parents side.

No, she couldn't do that. They would be locked in the labor room, and she would be forced outside. Would they let her walk around the hospital alone? Would she even know her way around there? Would she be curious and wander off on her own? In a dangerous hospital? She could be hurt!

I swallowed the rest of my drink, disgusted by my feelings of concern for this little girl. Sure, I had accepted that the fact that I cared for her wasn't going to change anytime soon. But I still felt weird, feeling again. I had gotten so used to not feeling anything at all, and now I was forced to feel something for this human baby girl. Would I be able to be an okay protector for the next twenty years? And what the hell was I going to do, when the time came? Twenty years is nothing to a vampire. Especially not one as old as me.

I sighed and put away the book. I couldn't focus on that one tonight. I stood from the bed, filling up another glass and emptying it just as fast. Maybe I should just throw away the glass, and drink straight from the bottle.

Settling down on the bed with the bottle in my lap, I closed my eyes and focused on the loud thumping in my chest. It was slow. Elena was sleeping, soundly it seemed. I liked that idea. Her lying in a soft bed, her small body wrapped up in blankets. Did she have a teddy? Someone to protect her, when I wasn't there? That was what I needed to do! I needed to get her a teddy. What kinds of teddies did girls like her like? I would have to go shopping in the morning. Yeah, I would do that...

* * *

 

 

I was woken up by the sun the next morning. I was in my bed, the bottle of bourbon still in my lap and my head resting on the headboard. Damn, I'd just fallen asleep like that. And I hadn't even been drunk! It had been years since I'd just passed out like that.

Rubbing my neck, I got out of bed and started to dress. I wanted to go and buy that teddy bear for Elena. Yes, it was something saps did, but I wanted her to have one. I wanted her to have something from me, even though she would probably never know who it came from.

Taking a swig from the bourbon bottle, I made my way downstairs, making sure I had my wallet and my car keys. Everything I needed. Stefan and Caroline were nowhere to be seen or heard, for which I was very grateful for. Wouldn't have been the best morning, if I woke up to noises from them.

Walking down to the basement, I emptied the bourbon and opened the fridge. I needed blood. I was actually going to be amongst humans, and I hadn't gotten enough from Kelly the night before, to keep me sated. I needed more.

Quickly drinking a blood-bag, I left the bottle down there, and went up to my car. That had to be the quickest morning I had ever had. Normally I took my time, enjoying fresh blood, from the vein, and took a shower afterwards. But to be honest, I really wanted to buy that teddy, and then check up on Elena. Her heartbeat was a bit upbeat today, but not in the upset kind of way. She was awake, probably playing. I briefly wondered what she liked to play. Would she run around or sit with barbie dolls?

I shook my head and started the engine. I was  _ so  _ not thinking about stuff like that! There had to be limits to my sappiness. And this was definitely overstepping those limits. I didn't need to know how she played.

I pulled out of the driveway, trying to get my mind on something else than a beautiful little girl running around, playing with her toys. I still didn't know what color her hair was. I knew the color of her eyes – God, I knew that color way too good. Her big eyes had never left my mind.

Once again, I had to shake my head, and push her out of my mind. I just needed to focus on getting that teddy for her.

* * *

 

 

I had a weird feeling in my stomach, as I pulled into the parking lot at Mystic Falls Hospital. Miranda had gone into labor, and I could feel Elena's presence in the big building. She wasn't with her parents, and I felt at unease. I wanted to make sure she was okay. Not bothering to even compel the receptionist, I walked to the elevator, following the feeling of Elena I had. My heart was thumping faster than usual, which could mean a lot of things. She could be happy, she could be afraid. I just wanted to find her.

The elevator stopped at the sixth floor, and I hurried out. The teddy was safely behind my back, just in case I would see her. I wanted to surprise her, somehow. I had no idea how, but I would do something. I would figure something out when I found her. And that was my main focus at the moment. Finding her.

I followed the feeling I had of her presence, followed the sound of our synchronized heart beats. And all of sudden, way too early, was she standing before me.

She had grown a lot since the last time I'd seen her. She was around the height of my waist now, maybe a bit taller. Her dark brown hair was almost down to her shoulders, and her small frame was a lot thinner than when I'd last seen her. She wasn't a newborn anymore. Her brown eyes were looking at me with happiness and wonder. Around her neck was a stethoscope. How had she managed to get a hold of that?

She giggled and ran to me, standing right in front of me. As if on instinct, I kneeled down to her height, now looking into her beautiful doe eyes. They were exactly the same.

“What's your name, princess?” I asked, not wanting to scare her. I already knew her name, but she couldn't know that. She would probably be freaked out.

“I'm Elena! And I'm not a princess! I'm going to be a world famous doctor, just like my Daddy! Can I listen to your heart?”

She looked at me with those adorable eyes, and held out her stethoscope. I smiled at her, nodding, while opening my leather jacket. She wouldn't be able to hear my heart through that one.

Her small hand guided the instrument to my chest, hitting exactly the spot where my, now beating, heart was. She smiled and giggled at me, before taking it off.

“I think you're just fine, misser Damon”

She cocked her head slightly, looking at me with big eyes. I didn't let my face falter, even though I had been shocked. She knew my name. How the fuck could she know my name? I hadn't told her! I hadn't even told her back then!

I had to think about that later. I had to continue this conversation with her!

“Now, doctor, would you mind checking my friend as well? I don't think he's good.” I showed her the teddy bear I'd hidden behind my bag. Her small face was lit up with happiness, as she took in the teddy. Her doe eyes went to mine, and I found myself returning her smile. Then a serious expression came over her face, as she put the stethoscope to the bear's chest. After listening for a while, she took them out, and looked at me, still serious.

“Misser, teddy is sick! We has to help him, so he can feel all better!” she said, trying to keep her face as serious as possible. I laughed and handed her the teddy bear. She would love it.

“I think you are completely right. Here you are, doctor Elena,” I said. Her mouth fell agape, as she accepted the bear and hugged it tightly to her body.

“Thank you, misser Damon! That's very nice of you!” She hugged the bear tightly, before looking at me again, her face lit with happiness. Oh, how I loved to see that face happy. She deserved to be happy. And I had actually been the reason why she was happy!

“Take good care of him, sweetheart,” I said, reaching forward and stroking her cheek lightly. Her hand went to mine, and she grabbed my finger, just like she had done back when she had been a newborn. Her eyes looked at mine, as she opened my hand slightly and pressed a kiss onto my palm.

“See you later, misser Damon!”

And with that comment, she was running down the hall, her new teddy bear clutched close to her body. I looked after her, my mouth slightly agape, and my hand still held in the air. What the hell had just happened?

* * *

 

 

I stayed at the hospital until I was sure Miranda was good. I was lurking in the shadows of the room, as I saw Elena hold her little brother for the first, time, noticed the smile on her lips, and the teddy bear by her side. Everything was good. She was going to be good. She had her family, and that was what mattered. I'd done my job, for now.

The first thing I did, when I returned home, was to grab the bottle of bourbon I had stashed in the parlor, taking a large swig from it. I needed to talk to Blondie again. And talking to Caroline, usually requires a large amount of alcohol.

“Stefan? Caroline? You guys home?” I walked up to Stefan's wing of the house once again, this time not caring if they were already going at it like rabbits. I needed to get some things cleared with Caroline. She'd been through this shit, she knew how Elena felt.

“Damon? Stefan's not home, he's out hunting,” Caroline said, emerging from Stefan's room, just as I raised my hand to knock at the door. I didn't smile at her, but brushed past her, walking into Stefan's room.

“I need you to tell me something without starting your usual chatter. I'm serious here, Caroline,” I said, taking another swig from the bottle. She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest and sitting down on a chair. I started pacing around in his room, the bottle still in my hand.

“I saw her. Down at the hospital. She knew my freaking name! I never told her! I didn't want her to know it. But she just called me Damon. She knew my fucking name, Caroline! How the hell could she know my name? And don't pull your usual talking at me, just. Freaking. Tell. Me.” I grew even more furious as I spoke, drinking from the bottle again. I needed to feel relaxing burning sensation down my throat. And, for the first time in 250 years, I wished I was human, just to feel numb from the alcohol. I needed to be numb, to get away from all of this. But sadly, as a vampire, you can't drink yourself into a stupor. I could consume every single drop of alcohol in this house, and I still wouldn't be numb. I would be drunk, yes, and I probably wouldn't be able to control the words coming from my mouth, but I wouldn't be fucking numb.

“She's four, Damon. She'll always know who you are, even though she won't understand. I knew Stefan's name, right from the moment I saw him. As soon as he looked at me, I knew his name was Stefan Salvatore. There's nothing you can do, Damon. She'll know stuff. She'll do stuff, you won't expect. It's always going to be like that. She's meant for you, and you're meant for her. It will be that way, whether you want it or not,” Caroline said, looking at me from Stefan's chair. His diary was on the table, and Caroline was just sitting there, looking at me.

“She wasn't supposed to find out my name! I wasn't supposed to meet her! I kept away for four years, Caroline! Fucking. Four. Years! She was supposed to forget everything. I was supposed to be a stranger in the hospital, giving her a teddy. She was never supposed to know my name. But now she does! And I can't be what I need to be for her! I fucking can't!” I paced even harder, not caring at all if I ruined Stefan's precious floor boards. I needed to pace right now, I needed to freaking destroy something.

Emptying the bottle, I threw it towards the wall, feeling better as I heard it shatter and felt the power flowing through my veins. This was who I was. A vampire. A predator. I destroyed something, I used my supernatural strength. I didn't go around, caring for small brown eyed girls.

“Damon, stop fighting it! She's your singer! You can't fight it. You can't stay away. You won't ever be able to. You need to stay here, you need to protect her. And I know you can do it. I know you think you're evil, but you're not. Just stop fighting it,” she said, looking at me with those caring eyes. Fuck this shit, I didn't need her sympathy. I didn't need her fucking caring. I needed to get the hell out of here, and I needed to get away from fucking Elena. I needed to get away from that little girl, before I destroyed her fucking life.

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, there we go! I sincerely hope you enjoyed it, if you did, please leave me a comment! If you didn't, please leave me a comment, telling me why not and what I can do better. I love constructive critism.  
> See you on Friday!


End file.
